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10 signs you married the right man


There are countless lists for the x no. signs you found your soulmate, married the right man, you're with the man you should marry etc. on the internet now. Because there is no right or wrong, or an accurate article which best describe the signs I know myself that I married the right man, this post will be Rebecca's version of  '10 signs you married the right man', which in this case the 'you' is 'I'.

Everyone have their own qualities they look for in a man they want to spend the rest of their life with, so this is not a general reference for everyone. I just want to define mine, and that I know even if my husband does not make the grade if I were to use those lists to appraise him, I am assertive that I made the right choice for myself.

Just like I wouldn't use other lists to determine my husband's worth in my life, no one should. And when you're with someone you love, you should see all the good in that person you chose and appreciate the things he/she does for you, even the littlest. Unless he/she is extremely abusive, physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically, then you know better what you need to do.

Foreword, my marriage is not perfect. Like anybody else's, there are ups and downs, good, bad and ugly, disagreements, disputes, squabbles & the using of words as weapons in a pique. But through these, we reflect, compromise and most importantly, to learn from and to improve on ourselves. To constantly work on keeping our marriage and love alive. It wasn't easy as a young couple/parents but we'll walk our life together with our hands held tight.

Without further ado, here is my list:


ONE. 

He wakes up earlier than you, asks you what you'd like for breakfast, prepares it for you and calls you out when it's ready. And you slowly get out of bed, walk to the kitchen with your lovely breakfast greeting you. What's better than waking up to bacon, perfect scrambled eggs and pancakes, prepared specially by the love of your life?



TWO. 

After a squabble, he reflects to think and say "you're right" later. It's really nice and heartening to know your husband is listening to what you have to say and to think about it even when he's angry. It shows that it was not a meaningless squabble but something that made the both of you learn something more about yourselves and the other.



THREE. 

He tries to make up/make you happy before the both of you goes to bed at night or right after you wake up in the morning, if the both of you had an argument/he has upset you earlier. He just wants you to be your usual chatty self and be happy before you go to sleep.

And I don't know about you, but I really love the extra attention after a bicker. It makes you feel loved and wanted even though you have disagreements with your husband and it's important because some people will feel that their partner doesn't love them as much anymore after the quarrel and that they are starting to not care about how you feel.



FOUR. 

He involves you and spares a thought for you in life-changing decisions. In short, your happiness is his happiness, and vice versa. He prioritizes your feelings on top of his own benefits he would gain from a decision made. 

Concerning the move to Sweden, he makes sure that I am comfortable living here, being able to adapt to and expressed that we will go back to live in Singapore if I prefer it. It makes me feel like a high priority of his life (even if he doesn't really know how to prioritize issues, I can look past that hahaha).



FIVE. 

He helps with housework and is good at it. He makes the bed, prepares (delicious) full meals, washes the dishes, buys the groceries, vacuums the floor, cleans the kitchen counter, does the laundry, cleans the toilet bowl, throws out the rubbish etc. 

While I do some of it too, I must really admit that he does more and does it extremely well. This, I am really very grateful for and appreciative towards. Of course, once he starts working, I will be doing all of those and only let him lift his finger when absolutely needed.



SIX. 

He is a good father. He makes it a point to bring your child(ren) out to play at least every alternate day so they won't feel bored at home and also to let them experience more of nature and fun outdoors. He looks at your child(ren) with a heart full of love, you can see it from his eyes and the way he looks at them.



SEVEN. 

He accepts your culture and the way you were brought up. He finds them ridiculous at times but he understands and is willing to adapt and follow it. And that to me, is because he knows the importance of integrating into your family.



EIGHT. 

He imagines the best future for the both of you, and work towards it. He sees himself giving you $6,000 as a monthly allowance to shop for yourself, not including groceries. Inside joke haha. He sees himself paying for the RELEX Smile procedure for your eyes hehe. He sees the both of you living in a BIG mansion one day. He knows that he has to work hard right from the bottom to be able to climb all the way to the top, and he is prepared for whatever comes. 

Although luxury is a bonus, I would actually be happy with just a modest, cozy home with a work-life balance and no stress. Just happiness. I believe that a person/family doesn't have to be rich to be happy. We can be wealthy in many other ways and be just as happy.




NINE. 

You just want to be with him all day, everyday. Every waking moment. You miss him even when you're in the same house but a different room. You miss him when he goes out for a short while. You like his presence around you. And at the end of a really bad day, you just want to be with him.



TEN. 

He is, because you see him as it. You see him as the right man. You chose him yourself. You know clearly that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, for better or for worse. He may not be perfect, but you love him. And the both of you will work through your imperfections together, hand in hand. You will help each other grow, to become a better person and a better partner each passing day. With the right amount of mutual love and understanding, even a person who seems like the wrong one can turn into the right one.



And that marks the end of my list. You can create your own list too!

Epilogue, this post is not intended to tell anyone which kind of men don't they deserve, but it's to let all women appreciate the little things their partner does for them. And of course, vice versa.

14 comments

  1. Lovely article. The most stand out point for me and my other half is number 9. Sometimes it seems silly but it is so true!

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  2. This is a very ideal partner and would be a really good company. I guess even if there's some criteria missed, I guess it's just a matter of meeting in between.

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  3. i'm sold at one. hahaha! i think it's a good thing to list down everything we appreciate of our partners and constantly remind ourselves of the good. i mean, there's good times and bad times to every relationship and since love is an action and not a feeling, both sides should be putting in effort to fall back in love again everything we hit a rough patch.

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  4. These are very lovely. I think we all have our own definition of what the right man should be like. I want mutual respect in a relationship and a man who is proud of your achievements and supports you in everything you do. Someone who is your biggest fan.

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  5. I don't know what I like. I liked being married, for many years. Now that I'm single, not by choice, I think I like this even better.

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  6. #2. Husband says "You're right." Husbands do this more, I think. Interesting to note. I always do it. Haha!

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  7. Nice compilation of points!! For me, just one thing matters - As long as you can yourself in front of him without any hassle, he is the right guy!

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  8. This is such an lovely article from you.Useful points almost every woman wish to have those in her man I think.

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  9. Beautiful points. Esp. helping with household chores is what makes a man, the best husband...

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  10. I love what you said and I especially liked the last point about wanting to be with him always... and that when you have a bad day, you just want your husband to be the one to give you a hug and comfort you. Thanks for sharing your list of 10. Makes me want to share mine too, on my blog.

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  11. I really admire men who have those traits you just listed down. I still believe that there are many men out there who will love you with your heart and soul, it's just a matter of finding them at the right time in the right place for the right reason. :)

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  12. While I love your article, I think it's still pretty one-sided. Most people will overlook and forget that... for him to be the perfect husband to you, you pretty much reciprocate and respect him in a way which made him feel that you are worth his love too!

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  13. I wish I have all the 10 signs... Great to have happy marriage...

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  14. Thanks for sharing this, I spotted a number of characteristics of my man. Its a great guide for those going into a serious relationship.

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